A Tale of Orcan Elflings
by LOTRDesmond
Summary: Legolas and his good friend Alkin are the ringleaders in a reign of terror upon the poor Captain Alfhild of Mirkwood. How could anyone indure such torture? Chapter 6 now up. Lots of Haldir in this one.
1. Chapter 1: Great and Terrible Memories

A Tale of Orcan Elflings 

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and places belong to the great and mighty J.R.R. Tolkien. Alfhild belongs to a good friend and I am using her with her permission. Alkin is the only thing I own.

Chapter 1: Great and Terrible Memories

Thranduil the Elven King of Mirkwood put his head in his hand. He sat in a small room adjoining his quarters surrounded by crates and carriers of all sorts. He was searching for an old document of importance to send to Lord Celeborn of Lorien. And this was where he had put every piece of parchment he had ever signed.

Thranduil hefted a box out of a corner and opened the top. Inside were a number of hand drawn pictures, and a few small books, along with several notes of resignation he had ignored for years. He took out one of the notes and laughed as he skimmed it. He continued reading it as he brought the box into his main room. He sat in a chair and rifled through the papers occasionally talking one out for closer inspection. Eventually he heard a soft knock at his door.

"Enter." He said trying to regain composer from the last fit of laughter. The door opened and in walked his son, Legolas, and his friend Alkin. They had come to say farewell for they were off today with a small colony of elves to the land of Ithillen in Gondor. "Ah." Said Thranduil trying to keep his face expressionless. "I was just wondering when you two would get here." In truth he had been laughing at them. "Alkin, would you run to the training grounds and fetch Captain Alfhild?" he asked politely.

"Oh course Sire." Alkin said bowing slightly as she left the room leaving Legolas and Thranduil alone.

"What do you want the Captain for Adar?" Legolas asked "Surly nothing is amiss?"

"No all is well." Thranduil answered "But I have something to show you and I will need Alfhild to tell the whole tale." Legolas ran his hand through his hair usually when the grim and silent Captain of Mirkwood was involved with anything there was bound to be trouble.

Alkin dashed through the halls of the palace. Nodding to all she passed. As she reached the magic gates of the king she slowed to a stop and let them open for her. And out she ran into the forest. The training fields of Greenwood were not actual fields like in Rivendell or the kingdoms of Men. It was a place in the forest where the trees where thinner and there was light enough to see and room to move and train. She found Alfhild there correcting the aim of a young solider. Alkin saluted the cadet in the way of the elves and bowed to Alfhild.

"Captain," she stated "the King has need of your services." Alfhild cocked an eyebrow

"For what?" she asked suspiciously

"Of that I know not." Alkin said shrugging her shoulders "he simply asked me to come fetch you." Alfhild nodded and dismissed the Cadet

"Lead on then Lieutenant." Alfhild said Alkin led the way back to the King's quarters.

Once the pair returned to the door Alkin knocked and was granted entrance. She and Alfhild entered.

"Please sit." Thranduil said gesturing to two chairs. Alkin sat to the right of the already seated Legolas and Alfhild sat on her right. "Now then," Thranduil turned in his own chair and produced the box of drawings from behind it. He opened it and pulled out three things. To Legolas he gave what looked to be a picture of three Elves one tall and two short. Crudely drawn by a young child. To Alkin he gave a worn book labeled "Word References". And lastly to Alfhild he handed her a note of resignation. Alfhild visibly paled at the sight of the paper. She knew what was coming.

Thranduil looked as the two younger elves stared blankly at the objects in their laps and Alfhild looked disgustedly at the object in hers.

"I see Alfhild remembers what these are." Thranduil said barley succeeding in concealing his laughter "But you two I notice don't." He said looking at the young Prince and Lieutenant.

"No," said Alkin flipping through the book "I don't."

"Nor do I." Said Legolas turning the drawing over trying to figure out it's subject

"Why Legolas!" His father said in mock astonishment "You drew that picture on the very first day you met your nurserymaid."

"But the grown Elf in this picture has a sword." Legolas said confused

"Yes I know." Said Thranduil and Alkin sniggered Thranduil turned his eye on her "And that Alkin was your favorite story book." Alkin immediately stopped laughing but Legolas kept the laughter alive.

"You would think you would have a larger vocabulary then you do with a dictionary as a story book Alkin." He choked out through his laughter.

Alkin glared at him

"At least I didn't draw with my feet!" she retorted Legolas's laughter subsided and he shook his head "What does Alfhild have?" asked Alkin changing the subject.

"That," Thranduil chuckled "That is her very first letter of resignation."

"What?" Legolas asked shocked "Alfhild you never told me during all those years of training that you tried to resign."

"Not from the Army." Alfhild whispered like she was speaking of some long forgotten evil. "But from taking care of two orclings." Legolas and Alkin just stared confused.

"Well now." Thranduil said, "I called you all here so I could tell you a tale. So let me begin. This is a tale about two orcs called Laslego and Kinal. More wildly known as Legolas and Alkin and of their ever vigilant nursemaid Captain Alfhild.." Legolas and Alkin burst out laughing.

A/N: Poor Alfhild. If you want me to continue please review. Flames will be used to feed the fire of my imagination and there will be more nonsense thrown at you shortly if there are many. Come one reviewing only takes up about 10 seconds where as reading that took up 5 minutes 

Valar Bless

NikerymArda


	2. Chapter 2: A Council of Elflings

A Tale of Orcan Elflings

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and places belong to the great and mighty J.R.R. Tolkien. Alfhild belongs to a good friend and I am using her with her permission. Alkin is the only thing I own.

Chapter Two: A Council of Elflings

Thranduil the high king of Mirkwood sat on a high-backed chair at the head of a long table in the great hall of the palace in Mirkwood. There were emissaries from each of the elven realms of Middle Earth as well as the Lords Celeborn and Elrond and the Lady Galadriel. They were discussing the fate of the elves and the end of their time in Arda. All in all it was a solemn and important meeting that should have been left uninterrupted.

Alfhild was speaking now. As Captain she was there to inform the council of the doings of Mirkwood's armed forces. Now she was telling of the increasing spider population and how it might soon pose a threat to the elven nation. Alfhild was speaking with increasing vigor.

"We must guard our boarders before we have to defend them with our backs to the city walls and we shall.." She was cut off by a loud bang as a side door to the council room flew open and smacked against the stone wall. The room was silent as a small blonde elf clad in green nightclothes that covered his feet climbed into Thranduil's lap with a book titled 10001 ways to cook lembas.

Thranduil looked down at the small elfling in his lap. The elfling looked at him with wide eyes and held out the cookbook.

"Will you read me a story ada?" he asked

Thranduil looked up at the staring elves. He cleared his throat

"This is my son Legolas." He said to the table and he looked back down at the elfling "Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" he asked Legolas shook his head,

"Well yes Ada but Alkin and I can't read."

"Oh and she has gone to bed like a good elfling I expect?" Thranduil questioned but too late. Another small blonde elf ran in clad in the same type of nightwear as Legolas but red, and this one was a she elf. "So you haven't." Thranduil said to her "But you two really should go to bed." He smiled at the council apologetically.

But Legolas didn't listen to his father instead he saw that Alfhild had sat down now bearing an open lap that might wield a story if sat on. Alfhild stiffened as Legolas put the book on the table and clambered up onto the captain's lap. He sat there waiting patiently for Alfhild to begin while Alkin tottered over and sat on her foot.

"I think I must agree with your father young Prince." Alfhild said trying not to grimace "It is far past the time when elves such as you and your friend should be asleep." Instantly both elflings decided to unleash a weapon that only children their age posess. They both widened their eyes, bottom lips trembling slightly as Legolas asked, yet again, "Alfhild will you pppllleeeaassseeee read me a story?"

Alfhild looked at the wide-eyed children and then at the assembled council and lastly to Thranduil. How could she deny those elflings with faces like that?

"M'Lord if you would excuse me I would take your son and his friend to their beds." Alfhild said she saw Thranduil nearly choking with laughter.

"Yes Alfhild you may go. And By the Valar read them a story!" he managed to chuckle out

Alfhild left with the elflings and the cookbook the later in her hand and the two elf children riding on her legs. Then, unsurprisingly, the elven king began to plot.

"I believe my son needs a new nursemaid." The king thought to himself. Thranduil feigned a relived look and bid them continue with the discussion. But his mind was not on this council but on the best way to let Alfhild know of her promotion to Royal Babysitter.

The next morning a messenger abruptly awaked Alfhild. The King wanted her immediately. Alfhild suppressed a groan. The elflings had made her read 10001 ways to cook lembas in its entirety. And of course she had had to make up a story because it was a recipe book! Alfhild grudgingly thanked the messenger and made her way to Thranduil's throne room where he would be. She bowed low at the foot of his throne,

"What news M'Lord?" she asked Thranduil looked at her sternly

"You're new as of last night has proved true. The spiders are indeed coming upon our city. I need you to go out and rid us of them." Alfhild bowed and took her leave. When she was gone Thranduil jumped up and strided to his son's room. He looked in on the two elflings there. Legolas was asleep in his small bed and Alkin lay on a pallet at his side. Alkin's parents were gone. Her father was dead and her mother had sought the havens soon after. So Thranduil had allowed her to bunk with his son. But they were fast friends and _usually_ didn't bother him and the arrangement worked. Alkin sat up as he came in,

"Legolas." She cried "Legolas your Ada is here!" Legolas woke up and looked over at his father.

"Ada!" he cried echoing Alkin and he ran over and hugged him.

"Good Morning Legolas, Alkin." He said to them "I have a surprise for you." Alkin scrambled over and looked up, eager to hear.

"What?" she asked Thranduil smiled and bent down.

Alfhild staggered into the throne room three days later. The spiders were vanquished, for now. An she was exhausted and hungry. Thranduil smiled as she came in.

"Welcome back Alfhild!" he said, "You have done well. I feel that for this you deserve a reward. I think a promotion is in order." Alfhild stood shocked,

"My King," she mumbled "I am honored." Thranduil smiled again and motioned for the doors to be opened. Alfhild looked over to see two blurs, one in brown and one in green, coming at her. Alfhild looked at the two elflings clinging to her legs as they looked up at her. "Legolas and Alkin!" she fumed in her head. "Thranduil what is the meaning of this?" she asked all politeness gone.

"Your new assignment." He said simply "Alfhild I now promote you to Nursemaid Royal."

A/N: As of now A Tale of Orcan Elflings is being Co-written with Alfhild's creator…Silverdragon. Please review they really make my day brighter. NikerymArda puts on her own pair of elvish footie pajamas and makes big eyes and quivers her lip at her readers


	3. Chapter 3: The Madness of Elderberries

A Tale of Orcan Elflings 

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and places belong to the great and mighty J.R.R. Tolkien. Alfhild belongs to a good friend and I am using her with her permission. Alkin is the only thing I own.

Chapter Three: The Madness of Elderberries

Thranduil stopped for a moment and Legolas and Alkin were doubled over in their chairs in laughter. Alfhild sat sullenly over to the side, her face a dark shadow. Legolas finally sat up right in his seat still smiling broadly.

"Nursemaid Royal?" he said chuckling, Alkin was still laughing beside him. "What a creative title."

"Yes well I had to think of something." Thranduil said to his son, smiling himself, "And it had to be impressive, not just the elflings minder."

Alkin finally got control of her self and straightened up "I don't believe that I do not really remember any of this." She said through short bursts of laughter. "However I do remember that that pallet was not the most comfortable thing in the known world."

"We are all terribly sorry for discomfort." Alfhild said bluntly "But I do indeed remember this all very well and have no wish to hear it again." Alfhild stood to leave but Thranduil intervened

"I have not dismissed you Alfhild." He said " But if you were to leave I know that one of the kitchen maids has a young elf she would not mind being watched over." Alfhild sat like she was tided to a stone and Alkin and Legolas began laughing again. "Now where was I?" Thranduil said in mock distress

Alfhild stared in amazement at the king. Nursemaid? What was this new devilry? "Nursemaid My Lord?" she questioned fearing the worst

"Yes." Thranduil answered trying to remain composed "I think that it would benefit these two if you would watch over them."

Alfhild looked down again at the smiling faces of the elflings finding it hard to say no. She shook her head to clear her mind. They had done that to her on that night when they made her read the _cookbook_. "M'Lord," she said "What of the cadets? And the troops? If I am here watching these two what will they do?"

"There are other leaders Alfhild." Thranduil said, "They can take care of my army. I want you here and where I place you is where you will stay." Alfhild nodded as if in consent, but this conversation was far from over.

"Then I take my leave Lord." She said walking back towards the doors with the elflings on her feet. After the doors had closed behind her and she was well out of earshot Thranduil threw back his head and laughed as he had never laughed before. The poor old elf had no idea what she was in for with that pair.

Alfhild walked back to her rooms with the laughing elflings holding tight to her legs. Elves in the halls stared as she passed but she paid them no heed. She was busy in her mind creating an argument to get her out of nurse duty.

When they finally got to Alfhild's room the small elves finally scrambled off her feet. Legolas scrambled up on her bed and Alkin skipped over to her small bookshelf and pulled out the first book she touched. It was a rather thick word glossary. She handed it to Alfhild and climbed on the bed and sat next to Legolas they sat like they were waiting for something. Alfhild stared at them and then realized 'Oh Valar no!' they wanted another story.

She looked from the children to the book in her hand and back. "I am sorry you two but I have something urgent that must be done. Let me go and get you a delicious treat and I will be right back." The prospect of food lit the elflings faces and they nodded eagerly.

Alfhild came back soon with a large sack of elderberries for the two. She put the woven bag in Legolas's hands. "I will be back shortly please don't fight." Alfhild left closing the door softly.

Legolas and Alkin looked at each other as Alfhild left. Legolas reached into the bag and pulled out a handful of the shiny black berries and put them in his mouth. Alkin reached over for some berries as well but she squeezed them as she pulled them back over to her. She looked at her purple hands in disgust and Legolas laughed at her. Alkin, offended, wiped her hands on Legolas's blonde hair making it a dark, royal, purple. Legolas took what was left of his berries and squished them in his hands and then rubbed his hands on Alkin's brown tunic. They laughed looking at the other purple elf.

"I think Alfhild would like this color." Alkin said looking at Legolas's hair "Lets make her walls this color!" Legolas nodded he tried to pick up the bag and move it toward the wall but the bag was flimsy and hard to carry. Alkin walked over to the door and picked up Alfhild's quiver. She turned it over and emptied it of its few arrows. She carried the slender wooden tube over to Legolas and the two of them emptied the bag into it. They pulled it over to the wall and they both excitedly plunged their hands in. Smearing the walls, bed, and each other until everything was lost in a mass of purple.

Alfhild walked back to the hall where she had left the king. She walked up to the door and pushed it open. She found Thranduil there examining the notes of the great council. "Thranduil!" she said abandoning formality as she strided up to the throne, "I want a word." Thranduil put aside the notes and looked at her

"You have had it but speak more anyway." He said

"Why am I sitting with children rather then out with my troops!" She demanded

"Because I want you here." Thranduil said calmly.

"Thranduil you know I would be far more useful in the field rather then sitting here and wasting away with….those two!" Thranduil raised his eyebrows slightly agitated

"Alfhild you are captain of my army under my command correct?" he said authoritatively

"Yes but.." began Alfhild

"And you take your orders from the king regarding your position in this realm correct?"

"Yes, but…" Alfhild tried again

"The maybe this was not clear to you before. I **King** Thranduil order you to watch my son and his companion. You are not removed from the army you are but taking leave until I reinstate you formally. Now go and tend to your charge and let me have peace." Alfhild began to argue again but thought better of it. The King was irritated already and she did not think it wise to encourage him. She turned and left the hall with a stiff back trying to retain her dignity.

Once she had again gone Thranduil dropped his kingly demeanor and chuckled. He merrily turned back to his notes laughing at Alfhild's expense.

The elflings were putting the "finishing touches" on Alfhild's room when they heard the sound of feet outside the door. By now Legolas's head was completely purple as was Alkin's tunic, not to mention the rest of the room and the quiver was stained impossibly dark on both the inside and outside. As the elflings heard the feet approach the giggling Legolas whispered

"Hide!" And they wiggled under the bed together. They watched the door open and Alfhild step in, her face contorted as if in deep thought but then it suddenly changed when she saw the room and the purple everywhere, on the walls the bed the floor.

"Alkin! Legolas!" she called trying not to yell trying to stay calm. But all rationality left her when they rolled out from under her bed each sporting huge grins. She looked at them in horror "Legolas what have you done?" she asked "At least Alkin's tunic we can throw away but we can't do that to hair!" Legolas smiled up at her

"I like it." He said "Alkin did it for me." Alfhild turned on Alkin

"Was this your idea?" she asked her exasperated

"Yes." Alkin said smiling "Do you like it?" Alfhild did not answer only looked pleadingly to Illuvatar and took Legolas's hand, leading him to the washroom.


	4. Chapter 4: Terror in the Washroom

A Tale of Orcan Elflings 

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and places belong to the great and mighty J.R.R. Tolkien. Alfhild belongs to a good friend and I am using her with her permission. Alkin is the only thing I own.

Chapter 4: Terror in the Washroom

Alfhild moaned as she pulled Legolas through the hall. He was talking and talking away about his purple hair and Alkin was skipping along behind them dripping berry juice from her tunic all down the hall. Alfhild closed her eyes for a moment as she closed the door to the washroom behind her. Just a moment to collect herself before she started. She let go of Legolas and turned and looked at the two of them.

'I might as well clean them both.' She thought trying to suppress a cry of exasperation. The elflings were still discussing their new purple attire. Alfhild walked over to two large depressions in a low wall, separated from each other by a higher wall that rose out of the counter-like surface. She pulled the stopper out of a faucet on each of them and water immediately began to fill the bowls. Alfhild also snatched a few bundles of wood from a closet and lit a fire under each tub to warm the water. Legolas and Alkin watched amazed as the water began to warm up.

"Alright you two," Alfhild said, not procrastinating against the worst. "time for baths." Alfhild took Legolas over to one tub and she pulled off his clothes and set him in the warm water. She was anxious to quickly get the berry juice out of his hair, his father would be furious if he saw him like this. "Legolas put your head under the water." Alfhild instructed and went quickly back over to Alkin. She brought her over to the other tube quickly pulled off her berry stained tunic and dropped it in a hamper for dirty clothing. She dashed back to the young she elf and pulled off her breeches and set her in the water and ran back to Legolas.

Legolas was patiently splashing in the purple water with his head all wet. Alfhild knelt down and grabbed a bar of soap.

"Legolas you are just going to have to let me do this." She said trying to be calm

"No!" Legolas said putting his arms over his head and kicking his feet sending a huge wave over Alfhild, soaking her. "I like it this way will you please let me keep it." He looked at her with large eyes. Alfhild shook the water out of her eyes trying to fight off his adorable stare.

"I am sorry Legolas but your Ada will be very disappointed with me if he finds that you have purple hair. I might have to leave forever, you don't want me to go do you?"

"No." Legolas said putting his arms down and bowing his head to let her scrub his scalp.

Alfhild scrubbed and scrubbed and rinsed and scrubbed some more for over an hour until she could get no more of the stain out. She helped Legolas get out of the tub and gave him a large towel and told him to dry him self. She quickly went back to Alkin who had been sitting alone and un-minded for the entire time. Alfhild drew a quick breath as she swayed on the slippery stone. The floor was flooded and the fire under the tub had been doused and Alkin was sitting in a quarter full tube of water pushing something around in it like a boat.

"Alkin," Alfhild said not managing to suppress her moan this time "What did you do?"

"Look Alfhild!" The elleth said excitedly as she looked up from the floating object. "I am sailing a grey ship like my nanneth but my ship is brown because my shoes are brown." She held up the object that was her boat.

"Why your shoes…?" Alfhild began but then looked closely at the object Alkin was holding. It was one of her shoes, sodden, and soaked through the sole. "Alkin!" she moaned again hurrying forward forgetting the slippery floor and slipping, smacking her head against the tiles. Alkin let out a shout of laughter. "It isn't funny when someone gets hurt." Alfhild said standing and lifting her out of the tub and wrapping her in a towel. "I don't know what we are going to do about clothes for you, you will just have to wait until we get back to Legolas's room." Alfhild went back to Legolas with Alkin following.

She sighed at the sight she saw. But of course what else would she see. Legolas was sitting in the big puddle he had made earlier, still wrapped in the now soaking towel, moving the water around. Alfhild said nothing but looked up at the ceiling 'Elbereth Gilthoniel what have I done to deserve this?' she thought. She got a new towel and dried Legolas, his hair was still a lilac color, and dressed him again. Then she picked up Alkin who was getting dangerously close to the puddle and walked out the door with Legolas following merrily.

The one elf that was in the hall when they came out stood shocked. This was a sight he had never seen. A grim, haggard looking Captain was carrying a giggling she-elfling wrapped in a towel and a prince of Mirkwood was following with lilac hair. When they were gone he shook his head positive that he had had to much wine the night before.

When the trio got back to Legolas's room Alfhild rummaged around in the drawer of the wardrobe that had Alkin's clothes in it and dressed her. As soon as Alfhild let go of her Alkin dashed over to Legolas's bookshelf, her back tunic flapping (Alfhild had been afraid to put her in white) and pulled out a book and brought it back to Alfhild. Then she climbed in the bed next to Legolas who was stroking his purple hair. Alfhild looked tentatively at the book; luckily it was an actual story book so Alfhild picked it up and read to them to keep them occupied.

"Once there was a man called Beren…" she read to them for a while before there was a knock at the door.  
"Valar what know?" Alfhild mumbled. She stood and answered the door the two elflings peering curiously behind her. There was a messenger there.


	5. Chapter 5: A Feast Fit for Orcs

A Tale of Orcan Elflings 

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and places belong to the great and mighty J.R.R. Tolkien. Alfhild belongs to a good friend and I am using her with her permission. Alkin is the only thing I own.

Chapter 5: A feast fit for Orcs

Legolas and Alkin were once again laughing and Alfhild was looking very sick and gloomy.

"Purple hair Legolas?" Alkin grinned "It must have becomed you."

"And what about you and your boat shoe?" Legolas asked "Who puts their shoes in the water?" Thranduil smiled from his chair, he was finding great joy in telling this tale.

"Come Alfhild have you nothing to add to this." He asked innocently

"Why would I?" Alfhild asked "You seem to have the story straight. But I don't believe you didn't even punish her when you found out…" Thranduil cut her off

"Don't be a spoil sport Alfhild, that is the next part of the tale." Legolas and Alkin looked at each other ready for more.

"Well then we had better have that next part." Alkin said and Thranduil gladly obliged ignoring Alfhild's pleading look.

"Yes?" Alfhild asked as she opened the door revealing the messenger.

"Captain I bring tidings from his majesty King Thranduil. Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel are leaving on the morrow and his majesty has prepared a feast for them. He wishes for you to bring his son and his friend to the great hall at the waning of the sun and he bids you to dress them accordingly."

Alfhild froze "A feast?" she questioned, praying she had heard wrong.

"Yes," the messenger said "And I would counsel you to hurry sundown is not far off." He bowed and left. Alfhild closed the door and turned to see the elflings grinning excitedly.

"Can we dress up now Alfhild?" Legolas asked bouncing slightly "You can finish the story later." Alfhild nodded, not speaking for she knew not what would come out. "Yay!" Legolas and Alkin slid off the bed and ran over to the wardrobe each pulling out handfuls and handfuls of clothes to put on.

"Come now you two don't make a mess." Alfhild was nearly pleading "Let me pick out your clothes. Go play over there for a moment." The elflings did not mind who picked out the clothes as long as they got to wear them. They went and sat at Legolas's little table and began to draw on some sheets of paper with charcoal pencils.

Alfhild sorted through the mess the children had made. She was very stressed as she went through the clothes trying to find something that might make Legolas's hair look like a trick of light. She knew she was going to be in a lot of trouble. Finally she pulled out a nice blue tunic for Legolas along with some grey breeches (white would only get her in more trouble when he spilled.) and surprisingly she found that Alkin had a red dress.

Alfhild carried the clothes over to the table where the elflings were busy scribbling away. Legolas nudged Alkin as Alfhild came over.

"Look what we drew Alfhild!" he squeaked, the held up there pictures for her to see. Legolas's picture was of two elflings and of one tall grown elf with a sword. They were supposed to be Alkin Legolas and Alfhild. And Alkin's picture was of an elf with very dark hair.

"Who is that Alkin?" Alfhild asked afraid to know the answer.

"It's Legolas with his purple hair silly!" Alkin said grinning. Alfhild suppressed a groan.

"Well I have your clothes now so it is time to get dressed, Legolas you first." Legolas went to her and let her dress him while Alkin finished shading Legolas's hair. "Alright Alkin tis your turn." Alkin put down her picture and went over to Alfhild. Alfhild pulled out the red dress.

"No!" Alkin said stepping back.

"Come Alkin you must put it on." Alfhild said now becoming a bit angry

"No I don't like it." Alkin said stubbornly. Alfhild reached out and pulled Alkin towards her. She wrestled with her for a bit until she finally had the dress on. Alkin folded her arms and pouted. She did not say a word as Alfhild brushed her hair and pulled Legolas's back so the purple was less noticeable. Alfhild stepped back when she was done and surveyed the children. Legolas's hair was much less noticeable. Perhaps Thranduil would not notice. Alkin looked fine except for the pout on her face.

"Alright you two let's go." She said opening the door. Legolas giggled as Alkin tripped over the hem of the skirt. Alkin just stuck out her tongue. When they reached the great hall Thranduil was out side the door waiting for them.

"Ah here you are!" he said smiling. He looked at them and laughed "Well Alfhild you have made the children in to fine elves but you yourself look like you have been through a great wind!" Alfhild looked down. Of course, she was still wet and berry stained. "Never mind that Alfhild you will have sometime in a moment to go and put on clean clothes, but first let me see the little ones." Alfhild stepped aside tentatively and Thranduil looked at the elflings. "Well done Alfhild." He said "Alkin looks like a princess and Legolas…" his complements stopped as he saw Legolas's hair. "It there a reason that my son has purple hair?" he asked quietly.

"Yes of course Milord." Alfhild said but Legolas interrupted her,

"We were painting Alfhild's room when she went to do important business and I gave Alkin a purple tunic and she gave me purple hair! Do you like it Ada?"

Thranduil paled but said none the less, "It looks very nice Legolas but I think you look better with your normal hair." He looked at Alfhild "You may go get changed now." He said to her. Alfhild ran off feeling relived and Thranduil took the elflings hands leading them into the hall.

There was no one there yet, thankfully, so he had time to set the children down where no one would notice them. He told Legolas to go sit in his customary seat at the high table and then put Alkin in the seat directly below him. Because Legolas was the youngest son he was at the far end of the table, where hopefully no one would see his hair. He told them to sit quietly and that he would be back soon.

Alfhild was back in her purple room shortly. She resisted the urge to begin cleaning because she had to get back to the feast. She hurried across the room and she stumbled over something long and purple lying on the floor. She picked it up examining it closely. She gave a cry of dismay when she realized what it was. It was her quiver, permanently stained with the berries juice. The two had ruined her quiver. That quiver went everywhere with her. It was as necessary to her as her sword and now it was ruined. She placed it back on the floor, she would burn the atrocity later, and crossed the rest of the floor to her own wardrobe and pulled out her silver tunic she wore on formal occasions and then slipped back out of the purple room holding back tears or anger and depression.

Alfhild got back just in time to process in with the king.

"Good there you are." Thranduil said curtly, she could tell he was still mad about the hair, "You have a different spot then you regularly have today, the elf next to your seat will signal to you." He turned as the trumpets sounded and the doors opened. Alfhild walked in behind the king and his older sons, scanning the hall for some kind of signal. When they were nearly at the dais she saw a franticly waving hand out of the corner of her eye. "Valar no!" she thought as she turned to view the hand. It was Alkin waving as hard as her little arms could. Alfhild rolled her eyes and strided over to her. Alkin pointed to the empty chair next to her,

"Legolas's Ada says that you are supposed to sit next to me." She said not very friendlily to Alfhild, she suspected the child was still mad about the dress. Alfhild pulled out the chair and sat glaring up at Thranduil who was talking to Celeborn.

"You really should not call him that." Alfhild said "You should call him "your highness" not "Legolas's Ada."

"I always call him that and he never gets mad at me." Alkin said turning away from Alfhild to her food. She picked up her fork in her fist and speared a piece of meat on it and as soon as she brought it up it promptly fell in her lap. Legolas looked down on her from the high table and giggled. Alkin looked at him and tried again, but the meat just landed on her lap again and Legolas laughed harder. Alkin was hurt by her friends laughter so she picked up the troublesome piece of meat and threw it at him. Legolas's face turned from laughter to surprise as the meat hit his face and this time Alkin giggled. Alfhild began to scold her but too late, Legolas threw a handful of his cooked greens back at Alkin. So Alkin, now with a green mushy hat, and Legolas began an intense food fight. Alfhild tried to stop the two of them but soon there was bits of food every where and Alfhild was powerless to stop it. Eventually Legolas felt a weight on his shoulder and looked up just in time to see his Ada, King Thranduil get hit in the face with a badly aimed handful of potatoes thrown by Alkin. Alkin squeaked and slid down in her chair. Thranduil wiped the potato off his face and took a deep breath.

"Alfhild would you be as so kind as to take these two outside for a bit?" he said remaining calm. Alfhild nodded vigorously, everyone was staring at the scene and all Alfhild wanted to do was get out of there. Thranduil gave Legolas a little push, sending him down to Alfhild and she sped the two troublemakers out through a side door.

Once they were out of the hall Alfhild pushed the greens of Alkin's head and wiped the debris from the fight off of Legolas's tunic and led them out in the small courtyard outside the palace but inside the gates. As soon as they were outside the children tried to run off but Alfhild grabbed them and picked the up placing one on each hip. The gates opened all of a sudden and a small party of elves came in. Alfhild walked over to see who they were. It was a party of elves from Lothlorien most likely there to escort their rulers home. Alfhild turned to go, the elflings still on her hips, when she heard someone call her name. She squeezed her eyes tight and then turned around to see a tall captain coming over to them.

"Haldir," she said "good to see you!"

"And you as we…" Haldir didn't finish his sentence as he caught sight of the elflings.

"They are not mine I swear to you!" Alfhild cried. Haldir smiled.

"I believe you." He said "But that ones does look a little like you." He said gesturing to Alkin. Alfhild chose to ignore this.

"This is Prince Legolas," She said raising him up a bit "and his friend Alkin."

"And why are you watching them?" Haldir asked curiously

"Because the King has ordered me to." Alfhild said miserably, Haldir held back a wide smile

"His son yes but why the other?" He asked

"She lives in the king's household for her parents are dead and gone."

"Alfhild who is he?" Legolas asked getting bored

"This is Captain Haldir," Alfhild said "He came a very long way and would like to take his rest before he has to leave tomorrow."

"Oh" Legolas said

"I am glad to have met you Legolas and Alkin." Haldir said but suddenly he looked confused "Alfhild, does the prince have purple hair?"

A/N: woot a double post hope that is enough reading material to keep you all busy for a while. Chappy 5 is kinda long.Good 'ol Haldir comes in at the right time. You wondered why he wouldn't let the fellowship pass in the movie? He was afraid Legolas would color his hair purple. LOL. Now review review review!


	6. Chapter 6: An Ill Fated Bet

A Tale of Orcan Elflings 

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and places belong to the great and mighty J.R.R. Tolkien. Alfhild belongs to a good friend and I am using her with her permission. Alkin is the only thing I own.

Chapter 6: An Ill Fated Bet

"The prince has purple hair because of this demon." Alfhild said raising Alkin up a bit "They decided to paint my room with the stain of elderberries and this one thought purple hair attractive."

"Well she's creative at least." Haldir said sticking up for the small elfling who looked very hurt by Alfhild's comment.

"Haldir if you had to deal with them for a day you would speak far less about their creativity." Alfhild said sarcastically

"Alright." Haldir said smiling

"What do you mean alright?"

"Alright, I will watch them for you tomorrow."

Alfhild looked stunned. Was he serious?

"How can you watch them? You are traveling back to Lorien tomorrow."

"I was planning to stay an extra day to visit you Alfhild. I don't mind using that day to give you some rest." He smiled at her in a superior way.

"Haldir I will bet you that by the end of the day tomorrow you will be miserable and crying for peaceful Lorien."

"Very well Alfhild I will take that bet." Haldir said grinning "If tomorrow I am crying for my homeland then I will dye my own hair purple." He waved a bit of his long light hair in Alfhild's face. "But if I am perfectly content then..." he stopped for a moment to think, purple hair would not work for Alfhild, her hair was to dark, he needed something else "you must introduce the elflings to Faolan."

"Alright," Alfhild said "Done." She was confident that no one could stand a day with these two without wishing for death. Haldir smiled

"Then I will be at the prince's room tomorrow at dawn Alfhild." He said "Good night." And he walked off. As soon as he was gone both elflings started to talk at once.

"Why is he watching us?"

"Alfhild where will you go tomorrow?"

"Who is Faolan?"

"Alfhild?"

"Alfhild?"

"Alfhild?"

But Alfhild was oblivious to their endless chatter. She got the day off from them tomorrow. She did not stop to think that this was but her first day with them. She was just happy to escape them. She brought them back to Legolas's room and got them ready for bed in a tired happy reverie. Once they were both in their foot-covered night clothes and satisfyingly tucked in. She nearly floated out the door in bliss. She ignored the calls of the children as she closed refusing to read them yet another story.

Left alone the elflings talked and giggled and played until well into the night but then they both fell asleep. In the early morning a tremendous wind storm swept through Mirkwood making the Palace cold and drafty. Alkin shivered on her small palate. She stood and gently prodded Legolas awake.

"Legolas?" she asked quietly seeing if he was awake.

"What?" he asked sitting up a bit and rubbing his eyes.

"I am cold may I sleep with you?" Alkin asked shivering as she spoke. Legolas just nodded and shimmied over towards the wall giving Alkin some room. "Thank you." She said as she clambered up on to the bed and underneath the big blanket. Soon the little elves were both asleep again, back to back, to protect against the cold.

Haldir and Alfhild met outside Legolas's room at dawn the next day.

"You can still back out if you want to Haldir." Alfhild said hoping to the Valar that he wouldn't. She had a wonderful day planned, that mainly included sneaking a visit to the training grounds.

"No Alfhild I think I can handle two elflings until sundown." He said reaching for the door knob. "Shall we?" Alfhild nodded and followed Haldir into the room. She immediately and glared at the bed. "Now Alfhild how can these two be that much trouble?" Haldir asked walking over to the bed where the two elflings flaxen heads were sharing the pillow.

"Don't let that make you a fool Haldir that is how they got me the first time."

"Did they now?" Haldir said with mock interest "Well you should leave because I am about to wake them and teach you a lesson Captain." Alfhild threw him a glare and walked stiff backed out of the room and shut the door behind her. But then she relaxed and went off in search of a bit of bread and her cadets.

Haldir gently shook the two children's shoulders to wake them. They slowly opened their eyes and then sat up very quickly.

"Where is Alfhild?" Legolas asked quickly

"Don't you remember prince? I am going to watch you today." Legolas and Alkin looked at each other and then remembered the night before. "I don't remember your name." Legolas said apolitically.

"That is alright my prince." Haldir said with a smile "My name is Haldir."

"Haldir," said Legolas making sure he would remember the name "You don't have to call me prince I like Legolas better." He smiled up at him.

"Alright then Legolas." Haldir said. Then he looked at Alkin "And you are Alkin, yes?" Alkin nodded

"Hello Haldir." She said joining in with Legolas in smiling at him.

"Alright then, since we all know each others names now how about we get you dressed?" Haldir suggested the elflings nodded in agreement and got out of bed, tripping over the blanket and each other. "Where are your clothes?" Haldir asked. Legolas pointed to the big wardrobe

"In there." He said. Haldir walked over and pulled out two tunics for the elflings. Soon they were dressed and ready to begin the day.

"What do you two want to do first?" Haldir asked Legolas promptly sat down and Alkin put the story book that Alfhild had never finished reading to them in Haldir's lap. Haldir picked it up and started to read to them.

Alfhild sat in her room after her secret visit to the training grounds. She had as of now gotten most of the purple from her walls and had sanded her quiver so that the wood was visible again, she would just have to glaze it now. She sat at her newly cleaned desk with a piece of parchment in front of her and a quill in hand. She thought for a moment and then began to write.

_King Thranduil, _

_I regret to inform you that your son and his friend have nothing to learn from me. I clearly am not the best disciplinarian for them, as the feast last night shows, and would definitely be better suited in the field. So I am informing you that along with these and other reasons of my own I will be leaving the post that your grace has bestowed me._

_Most Sincerely, _

_Alfhlid _

That looked alright Alfhild thought. Polite and short and maybe flattering enough that Thranduil would let her go back to the army. She smiled as she rolled up the parchment and tied it with some braided cord and called for one of the butlers to bring it to his majesty quickly. Alfhild went back into her room and laid down on the bed. Yes, this really was going to be a wonderful day, and soon Haldir would have purple hair.

That night after the sun had gone down and the elflings had been put to bed Haldir made his way to the great hall where Alfhild stood waiting for him. She smiled smugly.

"Well how did it go?" she asked Haldir looked at her like she was an orc in elf clothing

"Alfhild they were fine all day." He said "I read them a few story books and got them food and other then that they just drew or played with Legolas's wooden soldiers or slept." Alfhild looked stunned.

"How did you get them to sleep?" she asked urgently "What plant did you put in their food."

"I put no plant in their food." Haldir said scandalized "They went to sleep on their own, and they are asleep now. I don't know what you are grumbling about Alfhild they were perfectly behaved elflings!" Alfhild tried very hard to keep her mouth from dropping. Those two were out to get her, oh but she was on to them, their scheme would never work now.

"Alfhild!" her heart dropped here came the last person she wanted to see. Thranduil stepped before her. "What were you thinking? After I specifically told you that when you were dismissed I would tell you? Did you think that clever writing strategies, politeness, flattery, and being brief would have me reconsider?" Alfhild held his gaze not saying anything Thranduil threw up his hands "You will stay where you are until I release you." And he walked back down the hall. Alfhild looked at the ground. This day was supposed to be wonderful and now she was still tied to the children and she wouldn't even have the pleasure of seeing Haldir with purple hair.

"Alfhild," Haldir said as a reminder that he was still there. "I think tomorrow Legolas and Alkin should meet Faolan."


End file.
